I don't know if you're watching. I don't know if you care. I certainly don't know if blogs are sexy anymore but ... here we are. It is March, 2025, and like Carrie Bradshaw, I too don't fully know what I'm doing. Which is hilarious when I look back on my old posts and still didn't know what I was doing. This is and election year in my country. I have a lot to say. Maybe even videos to produce ... but I also have nothing to say. It is 2025 and I am apparently 43 and I've appropriated that one song to say, "nobody likes you when you're 43" because ... really. [hums to self: "the state looks down on sodomy" hahaha. ah that song was good, wasn't it?" I didn't intend to come here now with word vomit; probably later I'll have something actual to say. Probably I'll exchange procrastination with discipline and RESUME my bloglike ways because it used to be FUN. Circumstances... not so much, but blogging? Yes. Anyways,...
i sometimes find myself at fault with my own Christianity. i wish i was more Christian. like [some of] my brothers. and sisters. this sure, unshakeable, bullish faith or belief or ... something. this was they can hear the word "gay" and a righteous flaming sword can come from their hands. and that's just one topic. sometimes i wish i could be like that about any number of "worldly" issues. but, call it empathy, call it understanding, call it a living reality ... whatever it is, i cannot ... will not be as bullish as they are about certain subjects. and it worries me sometimes. sometimes ... when i want to yell at them, "THIS IS NOT THE WAY YOU INFANTILE .... GRRRRR!" but then i may be the infantile one; screaming at everything; harbouring a rage that won't leave. hoping that the fire doesn't find me. it surely won't find them. .... i wish i was like them. i like my God. i believe in my God. His people? not so much. which is not to say tha...