Skip to main content

Me Tarzan. You burn it all down [prt 2]


This theme for this series is: Paint it black; because there comes a time when we must burn everything down. Even the excuses


2. “If I go to the gym, they’ll know...”
The worst part about figuring out your sexuality is a). everyone has an opinion, everyone “knows” what you are/should be doing and b). you have no clue what this means and you KNOW... beyond the shadow of a doubt that everyone knows or will soon know that you had a secret.

Long ago, in a galaxy far far away [the 70’s], the oracle in my life had the best gay friends [... in life]. So she knows the body of a gay man; she knows the signs. I’d say she’s rarely wrong. Now if she knows this, who else knows of these… markers? God! If I go to the gym and tone out, will everyone know for sure? I mean I take enough androgynous pictures as it is, will a good body just confirm it? You don’t know the private terror wrapped in the asininity of the thought. I eventually did go to the gym. I felt good there; can’t believe I did that to myself all these years. Granted, I’ve missed a few good months but I’ll be back [yes, yes I AM gong back. Sheesh] because I’m doing this for my health. For me. Don’t let you box yourself in with negative imaginings.

Next: “I don’t want to hurt them...”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Me Tarzan. You Preacher Politics

                                  Valley of Decision by Christafari. Appropriate me thinks. On the night before the American election, while walking towards the taxi-stand, I became depressed by religion in politics. Actually, I became depressed by the thought of RACE in RELIGION but since that flowed into the political stream, one can say that I was sorely depressed all the way around. Here’s why: A prominent “Father of the Faith” so to speak, sat down with Mitt Romney. Now, tradition has shown that he’s the kind of guy that Presidents and Presidential hopefuls go to at some point in their careers, so it should come as no surprise that Master Mitt and the “Father” wold meet. It is said, that after meeting with him, though he didn’t give an all out public endorsement as other members of his family seem to have, he did advise the [Christian] public to vote according to Biblical Views/Beliefs....

Me Tarzan, You Save Me

                                         Ah, Smallville. Ah, Remy Zero! You say the best things. "How to save the world in five (5) minutes? Die. It dawns on me that both religiously and ordinarily, when someone dies... People change. U could try to change people all you want but it's in death that they realise - he, she stood for something. And they change. Funny. Pax"  - Text to a brother: July 20th, 2012; 6:19pm * I used to live in fear of the phone ringing. There was a time when the phone would ring and i would wonder if this was the day that my heart would be broken? Would i hear the news that a loved one [friend/family] has died? Was it a car crash? Please God, don't let evil or sad/tragic intent be on the other end of the phone. I haven't felt that way for a while, till las...

Me Tarzan: You Thorough Examination

 "I hypothesize that the reason Perception outweighs Truth is that Truth demands a thorough examination and we all have ADHD." The Hutchings Hypothesis There is a pro-life poster I always see. It reads, “The supporters of abortion have already been born”. Now on the surface, the statement seems sound and seeing the frequency of which the statement/image/poster is used, I’d say it has even become a linchpin for the movement. That is until you examine the truth of the statement which is often overlooked: who better to support abortion than those among the living? Those who have seen the ills of unwanted pregnancies, pregnancies by abuse, the scar and shame of the woman/young girl who [to this day in some circles] is still treated like another piece of property instead of a living thinking being. Indeed, the supporters of abortion HAVE already been born and because of that, they are able to say “you should have a choice”. I bet you look at the whole thing differen...