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Me Tarzan. You Man.i.festo

For years I have tried - perhaps from a surface level - to understand the human condition. This led me away from the term "human" in favour of something a little more real, "mortal".

I have tried to get people to think beyond their comfort. Admittedly, this was a bias. If I understood attractions why couldn't they? If I understood the pros of Theism and Science, why couldn't they? This was a mistake. People will learn what they will learn at the pace they will learn.

I have been worried. When Dawkins pulled a Marx and [more or less implied] that religion was for the poor and uninitiated, I endeavoured to be brighter [I actually felt pain when I realised I knew nothing about architecture]. And for what? I still believe in Creation so I still "lose" in their eyes.

I have tried to explain logic and have been deemed arrogant; I stick to my guns and was called stubborn. I conformed and felt weak. Time after Time, I felt my actions betrayed my God, the very one I have to remind myself has a reason for the reasoning within me.

But slowly... ever so slowly, I realise a grand and wonderful truth: nobody is killing me, you know. Not even me. This need that I have to prove my right or to change thought has caused me to have more headaches than I care to admit. And when you wake up coughing again - a possible return to sickness - you realise within yourself that while you're busy worried and wondering and [as the people would say] eating up yourself... they are going about life just fine. You will die and they will continue to exist. To what end? Yours? Never. 

I release to the wind, people. All peoples. All kinds. God will guide you. But I shall not allow the memory or the hope or the logistics of changing another to bring about an end to me.
That is all. 

Pax

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