When the thing you fear, happens to you... well that's just one less thing to fear.
I had never been fired but I HAVE lived in the perpetual fear of it. I am an ad writer. Been one since 2001 (I was nineteen then). Some days were beautiful. Some days ARE beautiful. So much so, you can't believe your luck. Somebody is ACTUALLY WILLING to pay and produce your thoughts. How many people actually have that opportunity. Then there's the days of intimidation, trepidation and remorse. You see, for all your creative prowess, one fact remains: You are only as good as your last campaign. Which means you must always be relevant, always be at the top of your game, always have an idea better than [your colleagues and] your last....
It's like mental Hunger Games. President Snow is the client, who can take away his benevolence at the drop of a hat. President Snow is the boss who expects results at all costs at all times [and rightly so - it's their perogative]; of course, whether they listen to you is another story. President Snow is YOU; or else that large foreboding thought that says - If you don't do... you WILL be fired.
I've never been fired from any job. Until september. Honestly, I was relieved when she didn't renew the contract. Months of wondering "what am i doing wrong now?"; months of arguing; months of me "biding my time was at an end. I planned to stay a year there. I try not to be overly superstitious but 13 years in advertising seemed enough [lucky 13].... IF i stayed there a year. Stayed six months.
Then there's the irrational rational thinking.
- Don't talk back. Don't defend your position. Just do EXACTLY what they say because you have a mortgage. You have bills and responsibilities.... You have a comic subscription [one of the few things that gives you peace]. If she fires you today....
- And you've been putting off that studies and the travel. If she fires you....
And then "she" does. And a wave of relief washed over me. No more pretending. Except... the thing that you feared has come upon you. Ironic, given that the Sunday before, I read an original piece of poetry that began with "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not panic" [read it here].
Don't think the thoughts have all decided to disappear, but there's something about passing through the eye of your own needle that leaves you feeling relieved and in my case, filled with a sense of possibilities! i updated my resume ["wow, i can DO stuff"!]; I realised i'm okay. There IS life on the other side of the crap you fear.
Pax
Tracy j Hutchings
October 4th, 2013
I had never been fired but I HAVE lived in the perpetual fear of it. I am an ad writer. Been one since 2001 (I was nineteen then). Some days were beautiful. Some days ARE beautiful. So much so, you can't believe your luck. Somebody is ACTUALLY WILLING to pay and produce your thoughts. How many people actually have that opportunity. Then there's the days of intimidation, trepidation and remorse. You see, for all your creative prowess, one fact remains: You are only as good as your last campaign. Which means you must always be relevant, always be at the top of your game, always have an idea better than [your colleagues and] your last....
It's like mental Hunger Games. President Snow is the client, who can take away his benevolence at the drop of a hat. President Snow is the boss who expects results at all costs at all times [and rightly so - it's their perogative]; of course, whether they listen to you is another story. President Snow is YOU; or else that large foreboding thought that says - If you don't do... you WILL be fired.
I've never been fired from any job. Until september. Honestly, I was relieved when she didn't renew the contract. Months of wondering "what am i doing wrong now?"; months of arguing; months of me "biding my time was at an end. I planned to stay a year there. I try not to be overly superstitious but 13 years in advertising seemed enough [lucky 13].... IF i stayed there a year. Stayed six months.
Then there's the irrational rational thinking.
- Don't talk back. Don't defend your position. Just do EXACTLY what they say because you have a mortgage. You have bills and responsibilities.... You have a comic subscription [one of the few things that gives you peace]. If she fires you today....
- And you've been putting off that studies and the travel. If she fires you....
And then "she" does. And a wave of relief washed over me. No more pretending. Except... the thing that you feared has come upon you. Ironic, given that the Sunday before, I read an original piece of poetry that began with "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not panic" [read it here].
Don't think the thoughts have all decided to disappear, but there's something about passing through the eye of your own needle that leaves you feeling relieved and in my case, filled with a sense of possibilities! i updated my resume ["wow, i can DO stuff"!]; I realised i'm okay. There IS life on the other side of the crap you fear.
Pax
Tracy j Hutchings
October 4th, 2013
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