Me Tarzan

It is September 23rd, 2025 and the world is wondering if the Rapture will take place tonight or the 24th. I want to tell you a Rapture story. The one and really only time I got caught up in the human-hoopla of it all.  I must've been about seven or nine years old. We were living in this groovy house that I wish i could go back today and buy [there was a short Julie mango tree in the yard]. Anyways, some pastor dude on TV [local, I think], who was NOT my own pastor, said that the Lord would show up that very weekend.  I remember my grandmother laughing, walking up the stairs from the living room to the kitchen side. I was sitting down watching this report on TTT [the one local tv station at the time - Trinidad & Tobago Television] thinking about all of it. You see, I was already studying adult theology classes at my young age. People tell me I was bantering philosophy with my grandfather since I was four. Religion and Philosophy and the understanding of all things were my ...

I don't know if you're watching. I don't know if you care. I certainly don't know if blogs are sexy anymore but ... here we are. It is March, 2025, and like Carrie Bradshaw, I too don't fully know what I'm doing. Which is hilarious when I look back on my old posts and still didn't know what I was doing. This is and election year in my country. I have a lot to say. Maybe even videos to produce ... but I also have nothing to say. It is 2025 and I am apparently 43 and I've appropriated that one song to say, "nobody likes you when you're 43" because ... really.  [hums to self: "the state looks down on sodomy" hahaha. ah that song was good, wasn't it?" I didn't intend to come here now with word vomit; probably later I'll have something actual to say. Probably I'll exchange procrastination with discipline and RESUME my bloglike ways because it used to be FUN. Circumstances... not so much, but blogging? Yes. Anyways,...

i sometimes find myself at fault with my own Christianity. i wish i was more Christian. like [some of] my brothers. and sisters. this sure, unshakeable, bullish faith or belief or ... something.  this was they can hear the word "gay" and a righteous flaming sword can come from their hands. and that's just one topic. sometimes i wish i could be like that about any number of "worldly" issues. but, call it empathy, call it understanding, call it a living reality ... whatever it is, i cannot ... will not be as bullish as they are about certain subjects. and it worries me sometimes. sometimes ... when i want to yell at them, "THIS IS NOT THE WAY YOU INFANTILE .... GRRRRR!" but then i may be the infantile one; screaming at everything; harbouring a rage that won't leave. hoping that the fire doesn't find me. it surely won't find them. .... i wish i was like them.  i like my God. i believe in my God. His people? not so much. which is not to say tha...

AH SLAP YUH! Episode 10. Now up. The one where we talk ketchup, mustard, pepper ... and control.

it's SUNDAY! let's once again, slap ..... i mean CLAP some people, organisations, Trinis.  EPISODE EIGHT IS UP! #ahslapyuh #wearetracy

Admittedly, it's been a hot minute since i posted. and usually, i leave ME TARZAN for non-fiction works .... so i guess ... well i guess this sort of applies here now is a new short piece that i did (level no-budget-filmmaking) while i was home on sick leave, earlier this year.  "Sick. Leave." chronicles the mental exhaustion one realises when the physical body breaks down. Sick Leave [sick. leave.]: A Tracy j Hutchings Short.

I got a question for the Christians of America and by extension, the world: Since when is Satan more innocuous than gay people? I know why you voted Trump. I know why you like Pence. I know why you voted Republican in the face of a woman who, (yes she might seem like a hawk), had the ability to be swayed for the good of your county. I know why: you wanted to restore what – in your mind is – good, strong Christian Conservative Values to America. Whatever that means. I add that last part in because you (American Theists) also believe things like – it’s okay to carry around as many guns as you like (it's your God-Given and constitutional right) or that climate change isn’t really that much of a thing. It’s like Tina Fey said in one of her Sarah Palin skits, “It’s just God hugging us closer.” Which I USED to chuckle about but honestly… given how you vote… I guess some of you think that too. Of course, the reality is, Christians (like most religions) believe in the end of d...

A few points in no actual order; just want to get it off the mind so I can return to STAR WARS and Wonder Woman and such: 1).        We need to STOP. Hillary is not the reason that the Democrats lost. DEMOCRATS are the reason democrats lost. I noticed something in our own little petri dish: last election, I know/heard/saw that there were many of the PNM faithful who were non too keen on Master Keith being supreme leader, yet [obviously] at Election Day, they all came together to get out one party and replace it with their own. That tells me that all this nonsense that “if only Bernie had…” is in fact nonsense. You had one chance to build on a legacy where people actually started liking Americans again and you allowed YOUR OWN SELVES to be bitten up and divided; meanwhile the hateful lot banded together IN DROVES to make their point heard… the effects will reverberate throughout the etch-a-sketch in time to come. 2).   ...

In my thirty-something years traveling this terrestrial plane, I have seen the good, bad and exceedingly ugly of religion. All of them. Even I, yes I, have pondered the notion of taking Theism outside, beating it to a pulp and nursing it back to health… the right way. If ever there was a true Biblical statement it is this: no one is good, no not one. One time, I sat down and thought about some of the major and minor travesties inflicted on your world over the years and I could honestly trace a line back to the practitioners of religion. And sometimes, it’s not even the true believers; it’s the jokers who go to temple/mosque/church like ONCE a year for five minutes; these are the ones who snatch upon a thought and have nothing further (and/or solid) to add. It’s very disturbing. … So let’s say, for the sake of argument, that religion and spiritual beliefs are the problem; let’s say that, quite like the appendix or the tonsils, in terms of your evolutionary perspect...

For the last few days, the topic of child marriage (among other things) have been floating around this rock. and now... i am fed-up. so, i'm writing.... I have seen consenting young adults circumvent the parameters of their religion. One gets pregnant. The resolution (as told by their religious authority): better they get married. It’s not that they didn’t like each other and who knows, maybe marriage was a Year Three Plan but the impending birth of a fresh human forces an acceleration of the timeline. Whether they were THAT invested in each other or not. They were, in fact, not ready for it but, lest they live a life of sin (it’s hard for me not to chuckle at this point), maybe these consenting YOUNG ADULTS should get married. In essence, the punishment for an ill-timed orgasm is marriage. There’s the other, relatively innocent side to this: consider, two fourteen year olds, who in an act akin to Juno, decides to (mistakenly) explore the awkward, non D...

A few years ago, I had this plan to pursue the POSSIBILITY of a relationship with a friend. I got tired trying to figure me out and after much internal squirming... no... ABJECT TERROR, I sent [by text] a this-is-how-I-feel-about-you kind of thing. The terror of course came from different cracks in the mirror but one of them, the one I tell most often to myself and ... whoever, is that I'm a GodBoy. I know what that means. What that means [AS a GodBoy], is that six months or a year [or several] years later, I'd remember my 'training' or get some kind of divine epiphany and realise that what I was doing was wrong and I'd [painfully] walk away. After all, Christians LOVE a good prodigal son story; still, why drag an innocent into it. Although - full disclosure - I'm more partial/sympathetic/agreeable with/to the OTHER brother in that story; the one who stayed and wondered why the hell would his father spend all his time on the little brat who wasted everything.....

As I started on my way this morning, I had a thought; a question really: Who's telling the right message: Good or The Practitioners of Good? [On The Surface] Good's Practitioners say: "To ACCESS Good [and in the process, be made better], you have to let go of that anger, that unresolved series of disappointments; the unforgiveness you feel has to go too." This is the only way, you as a being, will be able to grow/move forward/be whole/be gifted with a new reality. A noble thought 'till you consider where your soul lives. However, [on the surface] Evil looks at all you have and says: "I can work with that." There's a scripture [Psalm 34:14] that says, "seek peace and pursue it". I like that line but years ago, I realised that I never truly had to 'seek' the darkness. I live in a high apartment complex. When the elevator goes out and I have to walk up the stairs, I DON'T have to seek fear, it knows where I live. I do...

Let's call this: "The DELUSION of 'New Year'": An image dropped into my mind this morning, it tugged at my heart for a minute before I shook it off and moved on with my life it wasn't real; it didn't happen that way but it DID cause me to wonder, "why is 2013 still following me?" This of course, was a fallacy; it was 2012 that was following me. it was in 2012, that I made some personal decisions in order to figure out some [possibly] life altering/affirming things about my personal universe. I tied off some things. I burned down the idea of having kids that go to Maria Regina; I needed to figure life out. maybe even formulate an experiment. ... 2012 moved on and so did I. 2013 came with some fresh opportunities but it also showed me just how much hatred I can feel/carry. By the end of 2013, I was home and prepping freelance projects - sporadic as they were, so I should've been fine but I had grown to hate every blue or purple...

Let's Talk Star Wars: The Force Awakens... (long note) I sat down yesterday, to watch Empire Strikes Back and while I loved and will always love that film, I realised the flaws and issues every one screams about with "Awakens" has been sitting there in the franchise ever since, but the magic of Star Wars affords for these perceived flaws to be rationalised, hypothesized and even novelised, hereby placating the gnawing beast of fandom. And we were fine with it; in the late 70's-early 80's, this was a blow-mind adventure unlike anything we'd seen. Superman told us a man can fly (and spin the world backwards) and Star Wars told us that we have great power [to overcome any obstacle]. Star Wars... the franchise... not any one isolated film. But back to the matter at hand, like: Yoda telling Force Ghost Obi-Wan, "there is another" and it took us a few years [Return of the Jedi] to realise that the "other" was Luke's sister. When Luke uses t...

I have been disturbed and now, I must speak about it. Thirty-three years on Planet MeglaZoid and though many things have changed over the years, one truth remains absolute: People with power have no higher cognitive abilities. This is apparent when dealing with Marketing Managers and politicians; for the sake of this post however, we will focus on Marketing Managers. Seriously though, for the politician, you see it evident when policies and processes are put in place that seem to have no connect with their target audience; when taxi drivers have a better grasp on what should be done infrastructurally. For the Marketing Manager, it becomes evident when they not only show no true grasp on how to make money for the brand they represent but they also fail to connect with the people they claim to serve. To be fair though, it’s not just the marketing manager’s fault but also the entire marketing team that needs to be drawn and quartered. I thought your job was to make money for the Br...

The older you get the more cognizant you are of the demons of others. Which (of course) is exceedingly difficult when you have a messiah complex or when you think you know of One. I don't believe in (trust/follow/subscribe to the revering of) the demons; I think they're all bastards. But I don't deny they're there. Friendship, I have found, is a great elixir in the combat of demons but -as I said at the beginning- every body has their assigned brood to destroy. And I've noticed that darkness is adept at waiting it out. This is why you'd find that after you've comforted someone; after you've pried the cold hands of the dark off theirs; after all this... Yours still waits in the shower for you.  In Christianity, when dealing with actual demons, the Christ explained that once cast out, a demon goes through arid places looking for rest and if it doesn't, it finds seven demons stronger than itself and returns to ...

Go ahead, ask me why I'm not voting. Ask me why I would give up my constitutional right to choose the 'lesser of two evils. Ask me if I am aware of the importance of Democracy and why I NEED to take part in this, another ‘Mother of Elections’. Speak to me all the things I've thought about or believed in and I'll tell you two words: Space Program. I have a belief system that says: Leaders are meant to provide a framework for an actual future instead of merely pandering to the public's present. This fabulous secret was revealed to me, not as I held aloft my magic sword but as I listened to ads about pipe-borne water, community centers and of course, housing developments. It dawned on me that any government bent on taking their citizenry to a First World/Self Sufficient/Scientifically and Spiritually sound future must have a vision or else a working hypothesis of where they want the nation to be. This vision/hypothesis may be consid...