Me Tarzan

The theme for this series is: Paint it Black; because there comes a time when we must burn everything down. Even the excuses “I’m waiting for things to be perfect…” I’m doing it the proper way: I finished volume one of my seven volume book, working on volume two [I know what happens all the way to seven]; sent out a couple copies to a few beta testers [just to make sure I’m not writing in my head] and tweaked/pruned where needs be. I’m strategising the marketing for them; I know the team to draw the characters; the prequel novels [for some of the characters] have and/or are being written. … Meanwhile, every body and their aunt is making an ebook and putting it out there. There are a few liegitimate good ones. Two of my friends have the eformat down pat and I am proud. I’ll help market their books. And that’s the thing – fixing everyone else while what you love stays hidden; possibly because of fear/of having people NOT get you… again. So it has to be perfect. And yes, timin...

The theme for this series is: Paint it Black; because there comes a time when we must burn everything down. Even the excuses “I’m waiting… [for the full package]” Before the love of my life entered my life, I opened my eyes to the knowledge of this crazy, wicked cool girl. I’m attracted to those. This one grew up with me in church. This was a shocker: me? liking a Christian girl? Been a while! I will always remember one groovy Christian chick making the joke that she doesn’t go out with guys that are smarter than her. It may have been a joke, but clearly my mind took note of that [exit stage right]. But again, THIS ONE... was cool. But I had this preconceived notion of what “my girl” would be when she came. Partly because of a dream [or something] I believe I had years ago and partly because of this crazy, hot mad child of a co-worker friend next to me. In fact, looking at the girls I have jumped after in the last little while, they all looked like an accessible version of h...

The theme for this series is: Paint it Black; because there comes a time when we must burn everything down. Even the excuses “I don’t want to hurt them” When I told one of my brothers that I liked one of his friends, he was happy. He actaully said to me, “Please like my friend!”. I chuckled at the statement. I told him that I wasn’t going to tell this boy because I didn’t want to hurt him. You know me, I’m a theist. Beyond that, I’m a master of mucking up my life. and if my past girls are anything tho go by, at some point I will cause tears to fall from this one’s eyes and I was not going to be responsible for that. So even though I felt for him, I decided to burn that down. But... here’s the truth: I get bored by relationships. And maybe it’s all the damn Sleepless in Seattle and Battlestar Galactica but I tend to love more. And I’m sick of trying to conform to a new person in a relationship. That bores me. … Here’s the truth: I have responsibilities. I have a small position...

This theme for this series is: Paint it black; because there comes a time when we must burn everything down. Even the excuses 2. “If I go to the gym, they’ll know...” The worst part about figuring out your sexuality is a). everyone has an opinion, everyone “knows” what you are/should be doing and b). you have no clue what this means and you KNOW... beyond the shadow of a doubt that everyone knows or will soon know that you had a secret. Long ago, in a galaxy far far away [the 70’s], the oracle in my life had the best gay friends [... in life]. So she knows the body of a gay man; she knows the signs. I’d say she’s rarely wrong. Now if she knows this, who else knows of these… markers? God! If I go to the gym and tone out, will everyone know for sure? I mean I take enough androgynous pictures as it is, will a good body just confirm it? You don’t know the private terror wrapped in the asininity of the thought. I eventually did go to the gym. I felt good there; can’t believ...

The Theme for this series: Paint it Black; because there comes a time when we must burn everything down. Even the excuses... 1. “If I give up everything I am to God, I will be boring.” A few years ago, I was a judge in a youth talent night/showcase at church. This one girl stands up and reads a nice piece she wrote about God [Christians do the same thing everybody else does, we just do it better. iChuckle]. Admittedly though, I was not impressed. She had managed to regurgitate practically every thing I read about God [in the Bible]. No original thought – as far as my [arrogant?] mind was concerned. She DID get the applause – people DID like the work but I was not amused and I told her thus. For the next few years, I had these moments of panic when I realised that what I like/do/create and what the “good people” like/do/create may never meet. Worse, I was seriously worried that if I budged and followed God’s Divine Way I would be as normal and boring as some of them. Norma...