Me Tarzan

Life is random. Except it is not. It is a finely crafted, beautifully thought out and written plan in the mind and books of Our Creator. Except, i don't know.  I hate that phrase: 'i don't know'. I hate that ambiguity. i hate PROVIDING that ambiguity to others. I'm a theist, a God-boy [picture that as a costume]. More than that, i'm bright. I don't know feels like a cop-out of gargantuan proportions. Not when you use words like gargantuan in your daily speak.  But i don't know. I don't know because maybe life is random. On the surface [see, there's my spirit pushing against the 'i don't knows']. I don't know about true love because i just wanted love. The ability to wrap my arms around someone who was mine, no matter the costs - that is what i know. I don't know the full extent of finding a good place in this universe because most days, i don't know where i stand. I live in the shadow of death; this pondering when/wh