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Me Tarzan. You Unfinished....


I didn’t start this blog to be about religion all the time...

I wanted to talk about seemingly crazy hypotheses like Genetic Reincarnation SPRINKLED with the odd hypothesis unifying Faith and Science as I thought I’d be doing. And when I wasn’t throwing hypotheses around, I’d talk about ACTUALLY HAVING a hypothesis; possessing the brain work it takes to form a hypothesis and the strength it took to be wrong or laughed at. You know, intellectualism before baboons.  But the truth is, religion has – over the last… how much ever years of my life – pissed me off. Really.

I try to break it down logically. I focus on the fact that for many years, religion has made me cringe. I break it down further to the belief that I may be ashamed by religion. I even reminded myself that, while I’m not the most evil Christian in the planet, I could probably be worlds better. It is the knowledge of this that has stopped me from being more religious. I’m a hypocrite [by somebody’s standards]. I drink wine. I have cussed down the place. I appear to be as the humans are. How then can anyone believe in religion/a deity when His followers carry on improperly? Yes, I have thought all these things. And woe to me, if it’s right.

I tried to break down religion intellectually. I blame Richard Dawkins for that. Not that I haven’t been pondering and postuilating YEARS before [try: from the time I was 4 years old], but in a real sense, The God Delusion may have changed my life. Which MEANS, mom was right (again); I was angry with God and I got something to solidify my views [paraphrasing/broad strokes]. But between my Atheist brother and HIS Atheist mentor, I realised that Faith or rather, people who believe in [the] Faith need to stop… STOP being so romantic about it and break it down intellectually. Not that they haven’t. There are schools, seminaries and well spoken counsellor types who have broken down what a thing means in order for usward to understand our God and our religion. But I had to prove that religious people could be bright. Religion wasn’t just for the poor/those with “no hope”, uneducated/uninspired but it could house everyone. ANYONE. And I had examples to prove my point. My Reverend is the best dude ever. I think of him like my Grandfather. He’s actually more amazing than many of his peers… and he’s really bright.
Still, religion pisses me off.

Like: Sheltering from the rain and striking up a conversation with a Theist who rattles off Scripture. It was very disconcerting. No original thought. Yes, I’m judging. So I rebutted him. I deliberately rebuted him. I explained why his belief in choice/free will is a flaw. It felt good. It felt good to break him down. That’s not good. I’m on his side. And I told myself [as I told him and my friend Ishmael], that I was doing it as a necessary thing. I had to break him down to show him what the world thinks of him. I did/do it in hopes that romanticism would cease and a genuine and personal approach to Intellectualism in Faith would occur. But who am I kidding? He’ll walk away thinking he was just persecuted for his faith. After all, as he reminded me, in the last days there’ll be scoffers.

This is funny and can almost be tied back to my perceived hypocrisy. I LOVE the romntic attachmment to religions. I watch Om Namah Shivay like it was a superhero show; I look to the sky in it’s beauty and KNOW God exists. But there are questions. Questions I may or may not have answered. I asked 47 + Theists, one simple qestion… I got three or four responses; most, to say, my question’s too hard/they don’t want to sound stupid. Like that ship hasn’t alreay sailed.

This is my quest now. As it’s always been, I guess. For all my quiet anger and annoyance with religious people, I want my questions answered. I want THEM – my people, I call them, “them” lol – to answer. Which leads me to wonder, if Faith is answerable, is it [still] Faith?

Faith isn't escapism – though many have treated it as such. Faith isn’t ignorance [which many think it is; they think that hey, Adam & Eve were dumb naked blondes]. Faith is optomism. It’s the notion that even though I don’t get it, that I have questions, I must believe that later will be greater. Still, does that mean we shouldn’t ASK those questions?

We’re not done here…
I am not done here. This is Unfinished.
Pax
5/3/13

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