One of the benefits or burdens to being me,
is this urge I have to make people see things. So, while I could just very well
say: “oh get over it!”, I realise, it is not necessarily the best answer to any
social/spiritual/physical/emotional construct. Especially when GET-OVER-IT, is
the world we live in. You’re afraid of tall staircases – get over it! There
will be no elevators for you. You’re disabled and would like to see more ramps
on buildings – get over it! It’s too expensive! And you don’t understand
homosexuality – get over it! "We’re here, we’re queer, wipe your hands in us"
[trademark Charlie Sheen/Harper: Two & A Half Men]. Oh how I’d like you to
get over it… but my higher brain function wants to show you something: YOU yes
you, YOU ARE ALL ALIKE. You human, of homo or hetero descent are the same.
There is nothing that fundamentally different between you. watch.
Both Communities Are Stupid:
For proof of this, go Youtube. Politely
scan any video and I’m sure it won’t be long before you come across a comment
bar that reads like day old farts. Or my personal favorites, psuedo-religious
right wing videos that explain to me in no uncertain terms that there is NO
WATER on any other planet but EARTH. The heteros… they’re a funny lot.
But the homos aren’t backward either. If I
had the will of me, I’d produce a small booklet called, “GAYS! YOU’RE DOING IT
WRONG!” simply explaining that sometimes you have to go monochromatic to get the
point across – raging technicolor will not do. For example, [the concept of]
gay marriage is based on love and freedom to be with whom you want and such
but I believe the real argument should be financial because THAT’S what the
world understands: money. If Toni and Carlos are in a relationship and one of them dies,
there’s no financial security for the survivor because THE [secularist] LAW doesn’t approve.
So, should the deceased be attached to a vindictive family, they could walk in
and throw the survivor out because he is not covered. Or seeing as how no
so-called equal opportunity bill covers sexual orientation, a conniving boss
has free reign over your arse. Not cool. THAT is how you should position the
rights of gays– make it a fiscal [and judicial] issue. It’s stupid to talk about what’s fair and
what’s moral in a world that doesn’t see your life as either. I’m amazed more
people haven’t seen that.
Sidebar: I used to have three silly
misconceptions about gays.
1 – Gays are the more enlightened of the
species: See, when you’re surrounded by thinkers, teachers, dancers, creatives,
poets, artists, filmakers, money people and educators who are gay, you begin to
think they are ALL brilliant. Until you come across an insecure child and you
exclaim, “what is WRONG WITH THIS GIRL?! She’s bringing down THE ENTIRE
community!” Right.
2 – Do not be old and gay: I must’ve been
nineteen or twenty-one when I came up with that one. And while I still think
being 40 and NOW accepting what you are is retarted, I realise that my “no old gays policy” was based on the
same feeling you get when you think of two old people having sex. It was
stupid.
3 – Poor gays are not happening: Again,
when you surround yourself with middle class gays, the idea of a ghetto gay is
just sad. I blame Vampires for this belief. Vampires are all Lestat; a poor gay
is not Lestat, he is Jack Nicholson in WOLF. Don’t be a gay Jack Nicholson.
Evil
Knows No Sexual Orientation:
When one of my friends broke up with his
boyfriend, he told me that his now ex said that all he was to him was a nice
ass. … right. Reminds me of all the guys who shatter their women; makes me
think of the fellas who run when baby girl becomes baby mama; brings to mind
all the girls who inflict pain on the male of the species, causing him to bring
more baggage to the next relationship. Yes. Evil. Knows. No. Sexual. Orientation.
The
Heart Whips Both Sides Soundly!
Turns out HBO lied to us. Gays think about
things like long term relationships and building a family. Worse, gays have
that gut wrenching should-i-tell-them feeling like the straights. How about
that. Turns out, that feeling we get when we’re attracted to a girl and wonder
the pros and cons of getting into a relationship… it’s the same thing. I know.
I’ve been there. On both shores. Cue the day you realise you like this boy so
much and your brother says to you, “I want you to be happy. You should tell
him!” and you worry, “if I do this…. Am I really doing this? I’m not doing
this. This feeling won’t be mutual. Forget this!” That feeling has corrupted
all relationships - girls, boys, whatever.
Sidebar: This is where you say – oh that
explains it. No it doesn’t. I didn’t sleep with my girls because I sincerely
believe the whole wait-till-you-were-married bit. I’m very Theist that way. Plus
girls are not like Battlestar Galactica. Tracy is eccentric not because once
every millenia he deals with his crushes, he is eccentric because he is a
Hutchings and we’re ALL insane.
Both
Sides Tailor Info to Suit Their Needs:
The heteros use the epistles of St. Paul to
mistreat women. The gays use The Bible. Guys… there is no way, no matter how
you look at it, will The Bible ever be like – “dude, it’s cool.” I get it, I myself
have looked at some scriptures and been like, “now hold on here…” [did I mention
I have studied the scriptures since I was yay high?]. There is after all NO
PLACE where it says, “God helps those who help themselves.” But it does seem
vaguely implied that if you DO SOMETHING in His will, He will match that move. We could
spend a few hours talking about context and situation, the end result will be
the same. Trust me on this.
Neither Side Knows What’s Good For Them:
A quick story using dates. I was once in
close proximity to three girls. 2008, 2011 & 2012. 2008 is a love of mine. We tried the relationship
bit once but neither of us was fully whole at the time. I spent years, secretly
seething and in pain wondering why, why for the love of zod could it not have worked
out, there wasn't supposed to BE any "after", 2008. 2011 was a friend’s sister. We never got romantically involved [heck, she never knew] but she
gave me something beautiful… peace. She makes me smile. I like smiling. We talk
about every thing, we can relate. She is good. 2012 was what we call “The Lawyer Mommy”. A
bright young law student with a child. I was cool. I like her. Liked the idea
of the kid… primarily because I think I need something to worship me. I
eventually decided to try 2008 again; see if we could make it… I fear of course
that I am not even treating her, right. This is where my Theist self says,
“Trust in God, He will send you the right person.” Agreed! I’m sure the
number of Theist couples divorcing and adultering, thought the same thing too.
Forgive me, I sound a little skeptical, I
just like breaking down my religion [most days]. And while I may not always
like or agree with what God says, I can at least hypothesize why He
thinks/believes/is right.
I guess what I’m trying to say is… Somewhere
in the world is a homosexual trying desperately to figure out what they want
from their partner and wrecking every chance of happiness as I have… had… have.
Maybe I am exceedingly daft. I have – for
reasons I DO NOT UNDERSTAND – liked both girls and guys at various times
of my life. I have run from both. I have prevented myself from feeling anything
from any group because either I was hiding behind Faith [the force is strong with this one] or personal stupidity [tu stultus es].
And while this means there are times I
believe I will end up with a shelf full of books, a brain full of knowledge and
a successful string of published books and I may yet remain alone, it also
means that I have the ability to see that all this fuss between the straights
and the gays are ridiculous.
Life is a beautiful kick in the stomach
sometimes and it makes us stronger. Whoever you choose to love is a side issue
I think. Yes, I too believe that being gay is a choice. It’s a choice between
constant heartwrenching confusion and clinical depression and allowing yourself
to love her… love him.
I pray the Good Lord grants me life. LOTS of living time, to see what NEXT will we be up in arms about instead of
using said arms to embrace each other. Even if it’s for a little while.
Pax
Tracy j H
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