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I behaved poorly today. In church
no less. Not that one should behave poorly everywhere else BUT Church but oh
dear lord, sometimes...
I have a problem. I don't date
Christian girls. Did I mention I am a Christian? You see the problem here. Not
so, said a friend of mine. She reminded me that maybe it’s better to date
someone outside the family and basically convert them. Smile. A well thought
out strategy is important.
To give you a background to this
story:
Today [Sunday 11th,
Nov.] in Church, they divided us up into sections – children, adolescent, young
adults 20-25, people married for 10 years and under, people married over 10
years etc. In essence, today was all about Family. Kudos to the West Indies
School of Theology’s students who had to teach people – most of whom- they
never met before.
Naturally I was in one of the
singles classes with my brother Kedar and friends. Naturally, I did not want to
go. I went to Church for a few reasons today, NONE OF WHICH was to sit and hear
how to like being single or whatever.
As is the case anywhere, ask men
and women why they are single and at some point it becomes a blame fest with
the end result being a girl - with a
point that I would consider valid some other day – stating that men [basically]
are not responsible, finacially or spiritually ready and such. And I exploded.
I had to remind the class, that there are guys, GOOD GUYS who love God, try to
have good finances, who grew up around a spiritual environment and still can’t
get a decent girl. The idea that men are not responsible while true to a great
degree [with some] guys, is a pathetic excuse in my eyes since a). the ready
ones exist and b). as one dude said – “what if she not on the brother?”.
I realised today that: a). I may
have embarassed myself – I should’ve played the role of observer and b). I
showed vulnerability. But – you may say – it’s Church; being vulnerable… no one
will advantage you for that, right? Right. Let’s continue.
“Go in a group”, the young teacher said. In essence, young single
or courting couples should hang out in a group to avoid falling into
temptation. Nevermind, their Bible talks about self control. Of course, to be
fair, we live on Earth. Sex happens. Fine, go in the group and get to know the
“sister” better. Except I had no group, why would I care for one now? When I
was little and in Sunday School or Daily Vacation Bible School, I had a group
because I knew the answers. These people are not my people, sad to say. I have
been feeling alone for so long, yet you want me to go… with a girl… in a
Christian group…. Half of whom STILL find me weird or just cannot understand
me? I sent out a question to FORTY-FIVE CHRISTIANS. Not one TRIED to respond.
Three explained to me that it was lil hard and I accept that. A couple didn’t
seem to know that a question was sent to their facebook accounts, since October 18th. Go in a group.
Sure, except MY GROUP are a hip cool musicians and atheists and such don’t see
sex as a big deal. My group is amazing. I should say that Kedar is on my
planet. There are a few good Christians who are on my planet, so hanging out
with them wouldn’t be a problem, except… I work weird hours. Not even “my
group” gets to see me, save Christmas.
Which leads us of course to the
bomb I dropped at the beginning. I don’t date Christian girls. In fact I think
I went so far to tell a friend today that I hate dating Christian girls. Not
entirely true. I truly am sorry. But this is the fact: I like weird music. I
don’t play video games [I hate dying/have no gaming skils] but I will collect
their soundtracks. I write fantasy stories. I collect comic books. I
hypothesize EVERY THING. Just this weekend, I saw a link between past
life/regression and a practical application of it. THAT was supposed to be the
article. I like science. I am not a buff at it but I like it. I have
hypothesized how evolution and Genesis 1 can be aligned. Now when I bounce in
with my green lantern ring and pin – grief Tracy’s weird. Non Christian girls
don’t just see the weirdness, they see me.
So my friend the Buddhist and I can
talk about everything.
The Muslim girl I used to work with
and I can talk about anything and form solutions – and STILL she will close a
door and pray when it is time.
The Hindu girl is fasting and has
never met this kind of crazy but she’s open to it….
The love of my life wants to make
me dinner...
There is a brilliance that walks in
her. I think she could’ve been/could be the ANSWER. And she’s real. The [truly]
Christian girl says to me [in jest I hope] that she doesn’t go out with guys
brighter than herself. Right.
The thing with dating “outside the
family” is that issues like sex are… well.. a non-issue. Girls have an
understanding: we like each other, we are together, spend the night. Of course,
if you believe in the whole sanctity of marriage bit, clearly that is
hilarious.
How hard is it to find somebody on
the intelligent level who will not simply regurgitate 66 books? There were a
few. There are a few. There is one who is EXCEPTIONAL… and her husband thinks
so too.
I am fully aware of my issues. I am
fully aware of my afflictions and today, I proved once and for all, my people
annoy me. Probably no fault of theirs. But being a single Christian, being
single period, is not one of those afflictions. Especially when you have
Battlestar.
I grant you that my heart sunk when
I thought about new years eve; how I will probably be in Church and not in the
arms of any of my loves/love interests; that another birthday or year end will
come and probably not find me “with anyone” but I got over it. Because I have
bigger things to work out – like publishing…or attaining more knowledge. I simply am not sure that MY people understand what being a Single
Christian really means so I will continue to be “weird” and enjoy my life sans the hilarity that of
it all.
“A
good woman can ascertain how deep a man's bullshit goes and - without fear-
sticks her hand in and pulls him out of it. Later, they wash each other clean
of it.” – Sept 17th, 2009. B is for Stealing Blog Quote. © TJH
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