Love IS all around. But is it selfless or self-centred?
I hypothesize that love is a selfish enterprise. A way of taking revenge on a universe that wants you to be selfless to your fellow man.
Two Stories. Short Ones. Read On And You Decide:
1.
She leans back onto him. His arms wrap around her and her entire body lets out a sigh and a smile as she, rests her head, on his shoulder. She is safe. She hadn't asked to be rescued. She didn't need saving. Life had sufficiently armed her with the claws to climb out of... well, whatever lay ahead. But here she was, safe in his wrapped arms. He gently swayed. She responded. Safe in his arms. ... But who... WHO protects him? Into whose arms does he breath into? Unto whose shoulders will he lay his head?
Now my Christian self says - "you know he leans on God". True. But I am not totally convinced he does. I AM CONVINCED that he will do whatever it takes to make sure she is safe because society, self, "social-ology" and religious statutes says he must and she will accept that as the role. Ms. Independent will keep to his arms, because Love is Selfish - love must have all.
2.
For the last couple months, I have toyed with the idea of telling someone I care about, that I ACTUALLY care about them. The act of course may open us BOTH to... happiness. I remember a glimpse of happiness, once. She was the goddess Nike. She was what I asked for. I still feel like I failed her. But back to the matter at hand. I could open up to my Atheist Interest [I can see Theists cringe] about what I feel. I could [in fact] take the risk as a friend informs. I can be happy.
But see, when you tell someone - who DOESN'T KNOW what you feel about them - that you care; that you want to be with them, you are giving them a ball and demanding that they play. It is forcing someone to not only grab the baton, but run the race with you. It is selfish. And even if, they are game for this game, the selfish resolve of love does not end. There is the demand - FULFILL ME. Even well-intentioned couples look to the other for a smidge of fulfillment or justification, hereby forcing the other person to comply. This too is selfish.
And then there's the personal lace that trips me. I'm a Theist. What happens the day that I get some mighty supernatural revelation and suddenly become... I'm going to say, "strong" instead of Republican. What happens to them then? I take my Love back and put it wholly into my Faith. That sounds odd. It either means that right now, I'm halfway in my Faith or halfway in Feeling but Love is all consuming and must be allowed devour everything for the sake of it. Therefore no matter how we wrap it, how we interpret it, how we gloss it up, Love IS selfish. it may not always be self-centred but it IS selfish. The day we understand that, the better we'd know how to approach it.
Pax.
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