Is
strength going after what you want or giving it up for more? Is it cowardice,
excuses, a way to calm your mind from taking a risk?
Prologue:
I had an opportunity. A few years ago, a
groovy producer dude approached me. He had just signed an artiste whose proclivity
for growing ganga was evident in his music. He wanted me to do a piece of
original poetry over the beat. It was going to be great. He had it all planned –
what I’d wear for the video et al. … I didn’t pursue it. I thought, as a
Christian, I shouldn’t promote the ganga scene. But what I REALLY thought was
about the people. What will the [good] people say? I had a reputation, I can’t
do that. “Can’t”, I hate that word. It’s funny. I always say, the Earth turns
just long enough for you to realise the high ground you’re standing on, is
actually an ant hill. Was it strength to walk away from an opportunity or
simply an act of cowardice?
Story:
I have a sneaky feeling that what we call
Strength may in fact not be Strength at all. If this is so, then either: a). We’ve
been misled or b). we have deluded ourselves greatly.
If
we have been misled then literature is to blame.
Every where from religious texts to comic books tell us that [to be] a hero
[one] must place others above self; one must find the strength within to save
the world [or your world] without. In other words, happiness is subversive,
duty is all. That may not totally be the case, but that’s how it is felt. Hopefully,
in the end, you wil be rewarded for your strength [to sacrifice, to persevere,
to do “what is right”] whether in this life or the next.
If
we have deluded ourselves greatly then fear is to
blame. But rarely do we see or speak of it as fear/fear of risk taking. We call
it prudence, right timing or a Divine Call. We call it reckless, irresponsible
or being motivated by Self/Selfish means. No one likes a self-centred person
[not self assured but self centred] but I suspect, no one likes a coward
either.
This is not to say, that “the greater good”
is not important and maybe even in some cases, MORE important that one’s
personal whims. Nor am I saying that sometimes a decent dose of fear is not
worth it – unless you’re on a reality tv show where money is involved.
But even then, even on a reality tv show,
contestants break away from all that they fear because they are motivated by a
need to get that money. It may be reckless, irresponsible or self-centred but
somehow they find the “strength” to go on.
What is strength? Strength is movement
through motivation.
What is motivation? It is a driving force.
What is your driving force? And can it be
trusted?
Is this “strength” really strength or just
an excuse to do nothing/be nothing or else be something ELSE based on an external
[perceived] sense of morality or duty? I don’t know.
Epilogue:
Recently I started to notice someone new. I
liked the idea OF the idea, of being with them. To be with them meant giving up
a lot of things. One might say, I’d have to find the strength to push aside/walk away from every thing, just to even put
myself [back] out there. It’s a risk but it could be worth it.
But I have responsibilities. I have people
who need me and people who look up to me; people who seek my advice and my…
non-too-conventional way of looking at a subject matter. So for the greater
good, for a higher purpose, I must find the strength
to walk away from the idea OF the idea and return to what I must [do].
Is that strength? Is the former? What IS
strength? And how are we so sure we aren’t putting coward in a new dress and
calling it thus?
Pax
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