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Me Tarzan: In The Absence of Soul

I wrote two articles about HATE before this one. And I'm not talking about petty irritation that you humans disguise as hatred, i mean genuine HATE; and i know it was genuine because of two proofs:
1. The blinding clarity i got (i've said it before and i'll say it again - love covers a multitude of sins but hatred has a kind of blinding/blistering clarity to it.
2. The alarming tightening of my chest. To this day, there are moments where breathing is somewhat laboured (and good lord, the bile... or "cold"... but i know this to be just an expression of utter hatred)

I felt... feel... felt like the C-4 left at teh base of my heart/soul had finally (FINALLY) exploded; not just breaking it, but shattering it to dust. As i thought about that, though, i realised there was now two states of being thanks to this soul dust or as the header states: The Absence of Soul.

1. The Freedom To Act: soul is said to be the seat of emotions and i'd even say, your conscience. We'd all like to think that it resides in the mind, but when you do something that is morally wrong, there is - at least for me - a pang that goes deep into me. this [by the way] morally wrong is not uniquely religious; no one likes liars [for examples]. People do good out of the "GOODNESS" of their heart/soul and likewise, they shrink back from evil lest they sully their souls. But if that soul feels shattered to dust, what is to stop you from systematically wiping out every one and every thing that hinders? It's like parking your wings for an extended period in favour of a blazing kitana. It's dark... but it's an option.

2. Re-Creation: The thing about being a Theist is that you're also a Creationist [though the 6000 yr argument is not one i agree on]. A soul shattered to dust is the right material needed to begin the creation process. God makes Man from Dust [and even in The Golden Compass/His Dark Materials, DUST is important]; it is the binding ingredient [so to speak] for new things. Before the Spirit breathes on you... there must be DUST.

I have to believe in DUST as it relates to the second state of being. And i don't say this lightly. This isn't me saying, "oh well, Faith i guess" - if you know me, you know that Faith and I have a tortured love affair at times, but i am Theist and a fantasy writer and a comic fan; I know what happens if i let go and go all Etrigan on the planet. So even if i feel... felt... feel shattered in soul, shattered to Dust, i have to believe [or should i say - i CHOOSE TO believe] on the power of Re-Creation. 
I believe in Dust. What do you believe in?
Pax

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