Me Tarzan. You Seven Tips (for the silly season)

And then the Election Date was called [which brought about groaning and gnashing of teeth] and with it, of course, the loyal... nay, BLIND supporters in their varied forms. To say this worries me is an understatement. For the next three months (till September 07th), you may be inundated with a menagerie of messages, so i thought... why not share SEVEN tiny points to guide you along your way this Silly Season.

1. As luck would have it, people OUTSIDE of YOUR religion cares about your party. I know! Shocking right?! There are ACTUAL devout Hindus, Muslims and Christians praying for the good of your fearless leader. So take it down.

2. Undecided? Ask the prospective candidates a question that is important to YOU. It may not be important to them (and the trolls will come out eh) but ask. For example, "Where do you stand on about conservation?" Depending on how they handle it [chuckle, wave, scratch head or write on their Facebook wall, "thanks for that important question", write them off.

3. Coming back to religion, none of these parties are the Messiah incarnate. You are not removing Lucifer to insert Archangel Michael; you're voting for a human (which... any how... moving on)

4. I used to call a particular MP, the Minister of Hotness (yeah yeah, how dare I, I know) but I knew she had a brain. DON'T vote on appearance; seek out their policies.

5. Having done all this, invest in a good bottle of wine. In fact, get a Naughty Grape loyalty card; it's a long ride.

6. Pay... Your cable bill. The last thing you need is to be tormented with political advertising that goes on longer than the Newscast. For your own safety, pay (or get) cable.

7. Pray for YOURSELF. A little Desiderata. A little Serenity Prayer. A little Psalm 23. Trust... You're going to need it.

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